Why Haste Makes Waste: Val’s Big Disaster on Single Ladies

Val and Jerry on VH-1's Single Ladies

Wow, tonight’s episode of Single Ladies clearly goes out with a bang. I must say that while it was interesting, messy and very entertaining. The biggest lesson was how haste makes waste in all aspects of our lives, particularly with relationships. Sure we women are emotional, that’s a given. But when we’re full of our emotions, we have the tendencies to make some pretty disastrous decisions.

That’s one of the biggest admiration I have for men. Most (I have to preface it) don’t get into their feelings and tend to remain logical in when it comes to most things. But we’re emotional creatures, so instead of keeping our cools and not make any sudden moves. We quickly make decisions that cause some of the biggest rifts in our lives.

Such was the case with poor Val tonight. Last week, we watched her give up on her knight in shining armor, Jerry, which I’m not upset about. She knew what she wanted, and she refused to compromise on the total marriage that she wanted to have. But tonight, she sees Jerry at a social affair and tells him that she wants to re-enter their relationship accepting that he wouldn’t ever marry her. But Jerry declines her invitation for a rekindling, because he says he didn’t want her to resent him later and regret her decision. Disappointed with him, she gets a call from Quinn (who had been dating her for 5 years prior to her relationship with Jerry and said he didn’t want to marry her, as well). Quinn asks her for dinner and she accepts the invitation, gets drunk off of champagne and wakes up the next morning naked laying beside Quinn in bed. She must have used some of her best moves in bed, because Quinn drops down and asks her to marry her, just as she gets a knock at her door…..It’s Jerry!!! And he’s come to profess his love for her and willingness to put his fears aside and take it to the next level with her. He drops down on one knee and asks her to marry him. And of course, Quinn walks out!!!

BOOM!!!

See if Val had just went straight home and took a hot bath alone to get some clarity. If only she’d refused Quinn’s invitation, and not been so quick to get drunk with him. If she had just asked Keisha to drop her off aer apartment on Keisha’s way home to go look for Malcolm.

So now, more than likely Val is going to lose 2 men….just wasteful!!! Not that I’d want Quinn. But now, she’s gonna lose out on her chance with her Prince. And those type of situations, don’t just come often.

So, ladies let’s be a little wiser and think first before we react and cause ourselves unnecessary headaches.

Just my Savvy Two Cents….

When It’s Truly a Blessing From God…You’ll Know It!

James 1:17 reads, ” Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”

Last week, God showered with with an overflow of blessings. It’s amazing how if you just patiently wait on him to reveal what he has in store for you, you can’t nor will you have to wonder who it comes from.I’m convinced that there are those things that seem to appear as blessings from God, but result in confusion and more grief. It’s because we’re impatiently making quick decisions, without clearly thinking about our actions. We’re just like Eve, in the sense that the serpent has convinced us that it’s shiny and looks really good, so it must be from God.

But last week, I received my greatest confirmation about what path and direction my life should be taking. Due to a series of recent setbacks, I’ve often wondered how I got here and what clear path I should be taking with my life. Sure outsiders will convince you, of what’s most profitable and economists will predict the best path for fulfillment in a career financially and securely. I had asked God’s guidance many, many months ago. As indeed, I was clueless about the path I should travel. I asked him to show me what path, as humbly as I could and decided I would wait. In the past, I had been making hasty decisions that appeared to get me right back where I started.

I took a job earlier this year, that I was passionate about. But what I found was that the gifts I possessed, were being underutilized, because the people we were forced to target, didn’t want to accept the services we were giving for FREE nonetheless. So I had become a little discouraged, all alone listening to God say keep the course. Behold and fast forward to nearly 6 months later, when I run into a lady that I had met earlier last year. She had a mission and couldn’t find anyone who was willing to help her and I had a mission to use these talents God had given me. And we collaborated and I was asked to teach computer classes for a local campus of a state university.I’ve always had a passion to train. But never once had I considered teaching consistently.

Drawing from one of Wednesday Bible Study students, Journie, presented to me.

Additionally, I have been teaching  Wednesday night bible study for 5-7th graders. I always try to give my all. But I’m always unsure of my effectiveness and if I’m clearly making a positive impact on my students. However, last Wednesday night one of my students provided me with a picture she had drawn of me. Written on the side of the picture read: My favorite teacher! I love you.  As you could probably imagine, the ride home from class that evening was an emotional one. Because I have received awards from different companies, but this one touched the deepest ends of my soul. And was God’s confirmation to me that I am indeed being blessed by him immensely and I am having a positive impact on someone.

Not to mention, my first computer students received their certificates of completion Saturday. Despite some of them being significantly older than me, I saw them as my children. I sought to make each class an opportunity for them to learn something new and understand how to use it in their everyday lives, as well as their possible new careers. So on their graduation day, I presented them with their certificates, as well as personal awards that I wanted them to have as a token of appreciation for them and their inspiration on my life. However at the end of the ceremony, they had written me a personal letter with all of my students’ signatures. The letter read as follows: “We really appreciate the time that you take with us, making sure that we learn- and retain everything that you teach us! Thank you for your patience with us, we know that it is very trying. It’s good to find someone who Loves doing their job to the point that you do! We are so proud of you, because we have grown in so many ways! We brag about our class to everyone, so we know that after our class there will be many more! Never Stop, Teaching is your GIFT, continue to use it to Glorify the Lord! You have truly changed us for the better! No teacher has ever given her students her personal phone number! We love you!

After one of the students read it, I couldn’t help but to tear up, because it’s great to receive God’s confirmation that you’re in the right place at the right time. And I couldn’t hear him clearer than that very day! The experiences I’ve received in the last month have been perfect. I know that it’s indeed God’s gift to me and I’m ever so thankful for his love and raining abundantly on my life.

Just know that when God blesses you, you will KNOW it! Because for certain, it will be perfect.

Just my Savvy Two Cents….

PS. When you’re blessed, it’s always pleasing to God that you use your gifts to bless others. I love this song by Beyonce, “I Was Here”. It’s a great song that I believe promotes self reflection and making sure you leave a positive mark on the world. What type of mark will you be remembered for?