As I work towards building a very successful consulting business, I’m noticing that I’m evolving in the greatest way possible. It gives me great pleasure that everyday I’m closer to achieving the goals that I’ve set for myself. But as I look back, I think about the things that I’ve lost along the way that’s propelled me forward and thought it was a great topic to share. You see, we’re so quick to talk about the things that we’ve gained that contributed to our success. But we rarely recognize those things we had to lose that were responsible for the huge strides made. So, here are the three things in our lives that we should be grateful to lose, when striving for success.
Loss of Pride – Initially when I set out to start my consulting firm, I thought that I knew an abundance of what I needed to make it successful. While I was willing to take some advice, my pride was keeping me from acknowledging that I was weak in many areas. But when I decided to admit to myself that I couldn’t do everything, it was at that moment that I advanced tremendously. I no longer feel that it’s necessary for me to know how to do it all. So, I welcome any and all advise on solutions to making my business run smoother. I set aside my pride and began to soar.
Loss of Fear – This is a biggie! Admittingly, I had a fear of success. I know, I know…why would anyone have a fear of succeeding? I’m a huge observer and I’ve witnessed so many people who have had the greatest intentions of remaining humble, only to change (or so it seemed) as soon as the first major check cleared. So, my fear was that success would create the same change in me. Let me explain. I consider myself extremely humble. I willingly live a modest lifestyle and it’s always been my desire to help all that I can. I enjoy the simplest things in life. I don’t really celebrate most holidays, because my belief is that they’ve become so commercialized. I love doing things for people when they’re unexpected, because I believe it’s the most genuine. And my thoughts were that they success would cause me to lose myself. But what I had to come to realize was that the core of who I was would always remain. I’ve released the fear and I feel that I’m blossoming.I’m hitting most of my marks and still finding enjoyment in the simplest of things.
Some people fear failure. They consider the option of “What happens if I put in all the effort and it ends up tragically?” or “What if I just don’t make it?” . They don’t consider what will happen if they do meet their goals. Nor do they consider, that by not doing anything, you remain in the same place. It’s essential to comprehend what damages are caused by fear. Fear controls us and is the greatest hindrance of accomplishments.
Reflect on the most successful people. The thing that sticks out the most to me are the risks that most of them took. Most of them talk about the way they did something that was most unthinkable that attributed to their success. Last night, I was watching The Monique Show and Actor Miguel Nunez was a guest. He talked about how he left North Carolina at 16 to go to Los Angeles on a bus pass and 3 bologne sandwiches determined to make it. And now, he’s starred in numerous movies, including “A Thin Line Between Love & Hate” , as well as television sitcoms. Letting go of the fears is essential to moving forward in your journey at a greater pace.
Loss of Negativity– If you think that losing fear will take you places, losing negativity will take you to new heights. This is difficult to do, but once you overcome the negativity, you will really experience true elevation. To be honest, this was the most difficult of the three for me. I had family and friends in my life who I thought were my biggest fans. But their negativity was being passed on to me and I had to finally distance myself from them. This doesn’t mean that I didn’t love and care for them or ever see them again. But I found out that negative energy is quickly passed on, so I limited my interactions with them until I was fully charged. Because unfortunately negative people feed off of the positivity of others. Pretty soon, you realize that being around too much negative, causes quick depletion. Negatively is the source of a lot of the fears that you incur. Now, do I think that those people were aware of their negative energy? Probably not, but you can’t be drawn into it. It’s quite crippling.
As a small business owner in this slow economy, things are already difficult. So, you can’t be productive when you’re surrounded by people who see nothing but doom and gloom. I set out to surround myself with people who were positive and those who had been through the difficult times, came out of the storm with a greater appreciation of life, and were willing to share their stories in a positive way. It made a great impact on my life and will serve as a reflection of what great things are to come to you, as well.
But make no mistake there is a difference in people being negative and those who are offering insightful realism to your life. See the negative people typically don’t have any suggestions for combating the weaknesses in your plan. However, the insightful realist will expose potential weaknesses in your plan, but follow up with alternatives that will strenghten it. Hopefully, you’ll be able to decipher between the two. In my opinion, the insightful realist is there to help prevent you from failing, while the negative person doesn’t have the foresight to envision success.
The loss of pride, fear, and negativity deserves a celebration. However, remain cautious. Just because they’re gone, doesn’t mean they can’t resurface. So it’s a great idea to take inventory regularly. But believe me, once you experience the journey free of pride, fear, and negativity, it’ll be one ride you will not want to end.