If you haven’t read the first part to my blog, I suggest you stop and take a quick read of it by clicking on the following link….http://wp.me/pHYZN-ak.
What I’m about to talk about will make more sense after you read the first installment of this blog. Anyway, God does know our greatest of intentions. But I do believe that he is great at showing you the flip side of things you ask for, but aren’t granted. Reflecting on some of my many requests of God, I’ve realized that I have a hard-head at times and quite often I have to be shown to be made a believer. I’ve never said that I’m perfect…so sometimes I’ve questioned if God does really have my best interest at heart.
So amazingly God gave me a glimpse at what my life could ultimately be like if I were indeed “Stacked”! LOL!!! This is where if my story were a movie, The Pussycat Doll’s “When I Grow Up” would begin to play. You know the lyrics of the chorus, “Be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it” I know God does have a sense of humor! So follow me…
Several weeks ago, someone added me to a very private group. I still have yet to find out who, but that’s another story. Anyway, I fall into this private group. Now anyone who truly knows me, understands that I’m a very private person. I wasn’t always this way, but I learned that it serves as added protection. However inside of the group, there’s a lot of networking and inquiries that takes place. Now, I’ve learned to love the art of networking. But networking in this group is at a different level. It’s like speed networking if you will.
Nonetheless, I lurk within the group. I make a few comments here and there, but I remain pretty reserved. As time went on, I opened up a little more and for whatever reason, people found what I had to say to be pretty charming, I guess. Numbers were exchanged and pretty soon I had a few key people that I was communicating on a regular basis. However, because I am so private, I don’t desire to grow my network any larger than it is. But that’s where things started to drastically kick into overdrive for me.
Pretty soon, I had more people eager to know more about me. They wanted a portion of my time. There were those who I had spoken to maybe once or twice, who suddenly felt this sense of entitlement to other aspects of my life. There were those who wanted to dig deep into my personal life. And let’s not talk about how much my phone was ringing off the hook and the text messages flowed continuously. My email numbers were growing thru the roof. People sending me unsolicited photos…I won’t even begin to tell you what were on the photos. You can use your own imagination for that. I was receiving so much unwanted attention that it was really making me nervous. The attention proved a little too much for me to handle and I was feeling more than uncomfortable about it.
And then it clicked…what if I had the 36-24-36 frame? How much more attention would I be getting? And could my personality and lifestyle handle that much attention? And the answer is simply….NO! I couldn’t imagine being the center of most men’s fantasies. I couldn’t imagine having women hate me, simply because of my stature. I couldn’t handle the invasiveness of randoms inching for a little piece of your world.
Eventually, I removed myself from the group. I enjoy the topics, so I continue to lurk. But I fade into the shadows once again. And reclaim my joy. I enjoy my simple life, free from the drama. I love the ability to get in my car and just bask in the quiet (because somedays I don’t even play the radio). I love the ability to just give people the pieces of myself that I want them to have, without the continuation of pries.
The smallest things are those things that matter the most to me. Oh what it may be like to be Beyonce and Kim Kardashian for a day. To make men’s eyes burn with passion with every switch of the hip, to make the ladies eyes turn to emeralds in envy. I’m sure it works for them, but as for me I now know and appreciate why God didn’t make me a brick house. I’m more than satisfied with this cute little wooden craftsmen, I have.
May God bless you and keep you.