Just fresh off of watching the Monique Show, where Tyrese and Kimora Lee were guests. Tyrese has recently written a book entitled, How to Get Out of Your Own Way. And in one of the chapter he discusses why men and women cheat. From his answer, I’m still not sure. But that’s neither here nor there. The reason for this post was because Monique wanted to clear up what Tyrese had written about her being in an open marriage.
Monique clarified saying that she and her husband have a clear understanding that what they do within the confines of their marriage is to be discussed openly and never hidden. But she talked about her Grandmother first reading what she had written in Essence magazine and how her Grandmother read it and walked away for an hour to return to talk to Monique about it. Monique said she was leery of discussing the article because she knew she was going to stand her ground on what she’d said. (Apparently, she had said that she wouldn’t have sex with anyone outside of their marriage and if he did, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker for their marriage *article: http://www.essence.com/2010/03/03/monique-talks-hairy-legs-and-open-marria/) Monique says that her Grandmother actually told her that she wish she’d had the courage to do the same; maybe she’d have been happier. But to just know this…when you’re with the right one, you will change your mind about how you feel. So Monique turns to the camera and said, paraphrasing, “I know I’m with the right one, so I want to go on record and say that I HAVE changed my mind.”
This makes me think about true love and marriage. Do you truly love that person if you’re willing to share him/her with someone else. I mean, I’ve been around men who LOVE their cars. They won’t let you drive it. You can’t brush up against it. Nor can you lay a finger on it. They park it waaaaaaayyyy away from other cars, so there’s no chance of getting any dents or dings in it. You have women who LOVE their homes and/or furnishings. They put plastic or coverings over it. They demand you take your shoes off, before you walk across the carpets. So it’s bizarre to me to even entertain the idea of allowing someone else to partake in experiences that God only wants you to share with your spouse with.
Now, I’m going to be honest. If I ever tell a man that they are free to be with another woman (God-forbid!!! And if he does, clearly I’m mental) he can be certain the love I have for him is non-existent. The man that I love, I don’t want any other chick near, unless they’re blood related. Call me Jackie Christie crazy, but I don’t care to share my boyfriend, so I’m certain I’m not going to be willing to share my husband.
Indeed, you won’t and can’t know everything. And I’ll be honest, what I don’t know may not hurt me. But personally, I think that marriage should be the next strongest bond, after your relationship with God. And my freely giving of my spouse, says that I don’t truly regard him nor the covenant that God created. However, tonight one thing is for certain. The fact that Monique felt the need to publicly address the issue and make a statement clarifying her change of heart, tells me she’s definitely understanding what true love for your spouse really feels like now.
Just my two cents…