One of the things I’m learning to enjoy most are those burst of “Aha” moments that seem to come to pass every now (which seems more frequent as I get older) and then. The thing that I’m most willing to do is to acknowledge those things as a means to be more open and allow others the ability to experience, understand, enjoy, and hopefully accept the true me…(though acceptance isn’t necessary).
This year I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know many different people and grow valuable relationships with them. Some came and went, but others I know are probably going to be around for years to come. This one in particular is one that I hope will be around for a while, as they’ve really helped me and (and finally helped this problem that I have actually resonate with me in a major way). It could be the personality of this person (who we’ll called Duffy, for privacy’s sake). Duffy has a personality that I’ve never really experienced before. Very frank, but passionate, caring, but head strong. So when Duffy says to me in a joking yet serious manner, “You think you have it all figured out. But I realize you’re a big assumer.”
The funniest thing about that statement was that at that moment, it wasn’t truly a surprise what Duffy said. I’d heard it before, I guess you could say I really didn’t trust the people who were telling me. Then Duffy telling me that it could be fixed, said something even more clear and true. “It can be changed, but it’s going to be a challenge, more than likely due to the number of men who have lied to me in the past.”
Don’t know if Duffy realized this or not, but I literally had chills. In the last of my healthiest relationship to date, the guy I was dating at the time mentioned the same thing. And ultimately it wouldn’t allow me to fully trust him. And ultimately the relationship ended. And even potential relationship interests have expressed the same sentiments about my assumptions. The funniest thing is that it’s just in my personal relationships, that this ugly trait rears its head. So, I’ve decided to diligently work on it. How? You might ask…Well, Duffy, being the great friend that Duffy is suggests that I take what people tell me as face value and stop speculating about those things you don’t know for certain. Let the unknown be.
Whew Duffy!!! How will I do that? I did say that I would diligently try. But you have to know yourself. Honestly, I’m a person that pays impeccable attention to the details. I have an incredible memory and I love mystery. So to tell someone who thrives on finding the outcome and filling in the gaps that I can no longer do so, poses my greatest challenge to date. But I welcome it and I appreciate Duffy for the words and most importantly the ability to get thru to me in a way that no one has been able to in quite a while.
I don’t have a problem with peeling back the layers and hopefully growing into a wiser, stronger, better person. So, hopefully you’ll follow me in this awesome period of self discovery;)
Just my Savvy Two Cents…